I find myself pondering one of life’s cruelest jokes. I don’t know if this is just something I’ve noticed, but if anyone has any theories on the subject I’m all ears. Granted this speculation is currently mostly geared toward heterosexuals, as I haven’t gotten a chance to observe the effect among gay and lesbian pairings as of yet.

Why is it that all the good guys I know end up dating crazy, psycho bitches, and all the good women I know end up dating careless, fucked up pricks? What’s more it seems the better the guy the more psychotic the female, and visa versa.
I’ve watched the best guys I’ve ever met get involved with women who should be getting weekly electroshock therapy. I also watch many of my best friends, the sweetest, most rational women, get used and abused by guys who seem to be trying to satisfy a perpetual hard-on; what’s sadder is that these assholes can’t satisfy the women any more than they can themselves.
How does this happen? There are good women, and good guys out there, why can’t they find each other? They’re like ships in the night. In fact I watch them completely pass each other over all the time, when they’re practically looking into each other’s eyes no less.
I don’t know if being a practicing lesbian helps me at all in this case, and I will say my own record with good guys and assholes has been about 50/50, one really good guy, and one I would find very amusing should he be hit by a truck. My girlfriend is no psycho bitch, and this I am very proud of. Granted her flaws seem to lie more in being far too responsible and driven in every aria except our relationship. We shall soon see if she can prove me wrong.
I often find myself wanting to apologize to a lot of the heterosexual men I meet, for all the bullshit my kind puts them through. I myself am horribly sickened by all the mind games, and the tests, and the tricks that women use to beat a man into submission. My guy friends have often come to me asking for an explanation, and I wish I could give them one; I don’t get it either. As much of a feminist as I am I find I’m not very proud of my half of the species. Then as I was driving home from the store a little while ago I was thinking about this, and I remembered all the girls I know that deserve a little compensation for the scares left by careless men. I normally admire men for their directness and simplicity. There is, however, a population who’s motivations are in fact a little too simple and direct, though they would have you believe otherwise.

What’s crazy is that it is this kind of irony that makes me believe in some higher power, be it God, fate, the force, whatever. As sick and twisted as this kind of joke is, I find it far too perfectly absurd to exists without some kind of divine construction, and at everyone’s expense, it would far too wasted if there were no one to have good laugh.